During the grieving process, writing can be therapeutic, as it helps us to remember our loved ones and releases feelings and emotions. Today at Stelae we delve into why storytelling can be part of the grieving process and a coping strategy.
Navigating through the grieving process
As we know, throughout the grieving process there are different phases that each person deals with in their own way. Denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance are those stages of the grieving process in which we experience different emotions when a loved one dies.
How long does the grief process last? Although each person will be different, experts agree that the process can last from 6 months to a year. This does not mean we will forget our loved one or cease to feel pain but rather learn to accept the new reality.
The importance of approaching grief in a healthy way
We understand what the grieving process is, but we should also be aware that we must allow ourselves to come to terms with that process when a loved one dies.
Working through grief is important in order to accept our loss, to coexist with the new situation and to move on with our lives in an active way.
Sometimes, the help of a professional specialised in grief management is necessary to make an effective emotional recovery. This therapy aims to achieve complete recovery and emotional balance, guiding the person to learn to manage their emotions and thoughts in a healthy way.
The therapy of writing: a light in the darkness of grief
How can you make the grieving process a little easier? At such times, finding the right words becomes almost a necessity. That is why it is recommended to read a book about the process of grieving for the death of a child or to read poems to remember a deceased loved one.
But, in the search for the right words, it can also be a good release therapy to be able to express our feelings and thoughts ourselves.
How writing can help in the grieving process
In the study of the grieving process in psychology, one of the techniques for coping with grief is to use writing to express feelings. This allows us to sort out memories about our loved one and to release suppressed emotions.
During the process of grieving the death of a loved one, getting into the habit of writing about our grief, or writing down ideas and thoughts that are running through our minds, helps us to externalise our emotions and feelings more easily. This is something we would not otherwise dare to do.
Writing allows us to make sense of what has happened and to understand our new situation. It allows us to see our grief in a new light and to let go of burdens, for example, about what we did or did not say to our loved one when they were alive.
Honouring their memory: the importance of writing about our loved ones
One of the ways in which writing helps in the grieving process is that it allows us to honour the memory of our loved one. If we are not sure what to write about or how to write, we can turn to narrative formats such as:
- Anecdotes in which we recall stories and personal experiences with our loved one in a familiar tone.
- Biographies which help us to honour the life of our loved one and perpetuate their memory, talking about their childhood, their life, their achievements or what they meant to us.
Sharing stories: the power of connection through grief
Sharing our stories with others who are also going through the grieving process for a loved one that you have in common is a way of connecting with the feelings that others are also experiencing, and which are similar to our own.
One writing format in the grieving process that allows us to share stories is the letter, in which we can talk about our loved one and how we are living and feeling in their absence.
In the process of writing, we can also draw on other people's experiences with our loved one. This is another good way that sharing stories can help us cope with the grieving process.
The legacy of words: preserving memories
Writing during the grieving process is also a way of preserving the memories we have of a loved one, making their memories last into the future so that they will not be forgotten.
One way to keep the memory of that person alive is to write stories about them. This will also help children to understand the new situation in the future and not to forget their loved ones. For the writer it can be therapeutic. And for those who read it, it’s a way to get to know the deceased a little better.
