Funeral ceremonies to say goodbye to a loved one have changed a lot in recent years and no longer follow the strict traditions of yesteryear. More and more often, a funeral is focused on remembering the deceased and honouring them with memories, anecdotes and sometimes even touching verses. For these occasions, at Stelae we propose ten poems to remember a loved one who has passed away.
1. Remember me
In 2002, when the Queen Mother of England died, her daughter Elizabeth II read ‘Remember me’ at her funeral. It is a beautiful poem to remember a loved one and say goodbye to them when they have passed away.
You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
The poem was written by the Scotsman David Harkins and, although it was actually written with a love theme in mind, it took on a different meaning when it was read publicly by the then Queen of England.
Years later, during the most tragic stage of the COVID-19 pandemic, this poem went viral because it served to ease the pain of those who lost a loved one.
2. Elegy to Ramón Sijé
The writer Ramón Sijé is regarded as Miguel Hernández's mentor. A few days after the death of the former, the poet dedicated to him one of the most moving elegies in Spanish literature, which was included in the book 'El rayo que no cesa’ (Unceasing lightning).
I want to be, crying, the peasant
that works the earth you occupy and fertilise,
companion of my soul, so soon.
This is how this poem begins (which was later set to music by Joan Manuel Serrat), which served to show Hernéndez's heartbreaking grief at the premature death of Sijé, at the age of just 22, as a result of septicaemia.
3. Eternal love
Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer addresses the person he loves in this poem, the most famous of his work 'Rimas y leyendas' (Rhymes and the Legends), one of the best known in Spanish literature. It is one of the most frequently used poems to remember a departed loved one when we try to express our grief at the death of someone we love.
Everything can happen! May the death
Cover me with its lugubrious thread;
But in me, the flame of your love
will never fade.
The author wrote these verses in 1862 and it is believed that they are dedicated to Josefina Espín, the love of his life. In it he expresses the greatness of the love he felt for her, a love that goes beyond death and becomes eternal.
4. Absence
Another of the best known poems to remember someone dear to you is the one written by Jorge Luis Borges. With his words he demonstrates a feeling of heartbreak at the absence of someone he loves and disbelief at their loss.
My heart insists that you will come back,
my heart insists you're not dead,
and if i'm sleepless it's because i believe
that you are still sleeping and don’t want to wake up.
5. At a friend's funeral
This poem is written by the Colombian Ciro Mendía which shows the feelings he felt during the funeral of a friend who has died:
What silence in the voices, and how cold
for the dead friend. Mourn with a soul
Full of anguish for the good soul,
how you grieve me, my companion.
6. The farewell poem
The Cuban poet José Angel Buesa wrote this poem to express the pain over the death of a loved one:
I am left with your smile asleep in my memory,
and my heart tells me that I will not forget you;
but, being left alone, knowing that I have lost you,
perhaps I may begin to love you as I never loved you before.
7. Goodbye to a father
This is one of the most popular poems to remember a deceased father on the internet, and is written by Martiniano González Varelas expressly for his funeral:
Today my father has left the world;
Suddenly death came to him;
With silence, this is where he said goodbye to me
On that night of unexpected impact.
8. Funeral blues
This poem by W.H. Auden became well known because it appeared in the 1994 film 'Four Weddings and a Funeral'. It is dedicated by one of the main characters to his partner, so it expresses how someone feels when the person they love most dies:
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
9. Everything says yes
This poem by Pedro Salinas is one of the most frequently used poems to remember a loved one who has died at secular funerals. Its verses belong to his best known work, 'La voz a ti debida' (My voice because of you).
Soul, soon, to ask,
to seize the utmost
momentary madness,
to ask for those things
impossible, requested,
silent, so many times,
so long, that today
we will scream for them.
10. Requiem
Robert Louis Stevenson wrote this poem in 1880 while he was ill. It can be read at a funeral when you want to remember the memory of a loved one who enjoyed a fulfilling life.
Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I lay me down with a will.
Why should you remember your loved one with a poem?
When we cannot find the words at funerals to show how we feel, to express our grief, to honour a person as they deserve or to remember their life, people often turn to poetry to pay tribute to a loved one who has passed away.
In such texts we find the words we cannot express ourselves and that manage to capture our feelings in a beautiful and moving way.
If we are looking for the words to use when scattering ashes but we struggle to find them, these poems can be a wonderful way to share our feelings.
