Our pet is part of the family so, when it dies, we experience feelings similar to those that arise after the death of a loved one. How do you deal with the grief of losing a pet? At Stelae we discuss the feelings that may arise and how to deal with them.
How do you cope with the bereavement of a pet?
The process of mourning the death of a pet is a natural response that people experience when they lose their loved one.
Feelings such as pain, sadness, confusion, loneliness or even guilt appear in different ways, depending on each person.
Sometimes, society downplays the loss of a pet, but for its owners it means losing a member of the family. Therefore, making our grief visible will help us to cope with this absence.
Letting our sadness show and crying will make others understand how much your pet meant to you. Furthermore, it will make your nearest and dearest empathise and support you during this difficult time.
How long does it take to mourn a pet?
People often wonder how long pet bereavement lasts, or whether it lasts as long as mourning the death of a human. The length of time can vary significantly from person to person and will depend on a number of factors:
- The intensity of the bond you had with your pet. The more attached you were to your pet, the more difficult it might be for you to come to terms with its loss.
- The causes or circumstances in which the loss occurred. A sudden death is not the same as one in which you experience an anticipated loss such as a prolonged illness. This allows you to begin to come to terms with what the outcome will be for your pet.
- Whether or not you have emotional support from family and friends during your bereavement. When your family and friends empathise with your grief and support you, this means you will be able to overcome your pain in a shorter period of time.
There is no mathematical rule for how long it takes to grieve for a pet. You will have to go through the different stages of grief to come to terms with the loss, just as you do when a person you love dies.
Stages of pet bereavement: what are they?
As with the death of a person close to us, we also go through a grieving process when our pet dies. This involves dealing with a number of stages in which similar feelings arise.
Denial and confusion
In the first stage of grieving for our pet, we may feel disbelief at the loss of our pet. We refuse to accept they have gone and even have the feeling that we are living in an unreal situation.
There may also be a feeling of shock, bewilderment or confusion, as we find it difficult to assimilate the fact that our pet is no longer with us.
Anger and negotiation
The next phase of grief following the death of a pet is one in which feelings of anger and frustration arise. Many people even feel guilty for not having been able to prevent the death of their pet or for not having made other decisions related to their pet's care.
Depression and acceptance
In the final stage of our grieving process, sadness and feelings of emptiness and loneliness appear. We even lose interest in activities that are usually pleasant and satisfying.
Then we begin to accept the new reality that our pet is no longer with us. We learn to live with the loss and, while our grief does not disappear completely, we accept that the death of our pet is a part of life.
Recommendations for overcoming the grief of losing a pet
How to overcome the grief of losing a pet? As much as death is an inherent part of life, we all find it difficult to cope when a loved one dies, including when it is an animal.
To help you through the process, here are some suggestions on how to cope with the bereavement of a dog, cat or any other animal companion:
- Allow yourself to feel the pain. Sadness, guilt, confusion, frustration are natural emotions. Don't judge yourself for experiencing these feelings or let other people do so. Not everyone understands the pain of losing a pet.
- Talk about the grief you are feeling with friends and family. Express how you feel and share the memories you have of your pet. This can be very liberating during moments of pain.
- Write about your pet. Writing helps with grief. You can write letters, a diary, or any kind of text that helps you externalise what you are feeling.
- Look for a distraction. Do activities that you enjoy such as reading, watching films or exercising. This will help to keep your mind occupied with something else and it will be easier to handle the grief.
- Seek support from other people who are in the same situation. Sharing your feelings with people who feel the same as you can be very comforting.
Learning how to cope with the grief of losing a pet will help you to find peace and adjust to a life without them.
